Winding down + New Routine

Sunday morning walking group on Doran Beach, Bodega Bay

As the days of summer are winding down, I've been reflecting on what and how we filled our days and how very quickly they came and went.  I start to feel a little melancholy for the season that isn't really officially over, but I'm aware of its demise and mourn the loss of our complete and total freedom.

This summer went by so very fast, but I enjoyed it.  All of it.  And while we didn't do everything on our summer wish list, we did new and unexpected things (Hello, Alaska!).

Shoes I've been searching for all summer long finally found me at the local thrift shop
Reading this sweet book by librarian, Josh Hanagarne

I look forward to a new rhythm in our home and like seeing it take shape organically.  This second week of school has reminded me of the daily rituals that keep our home humming - coffee, breakfast, to-do lists and morning laundry.  As I slide out bed and shuffle to the bathroom, my head fills with thoughts of things that must get done today, projects I want to explore and what's for dinner.

Thrifted onesie + Hot Pink Ombré Monkey design by Grady
This little gem will be a present for our neighbor's new baby, Vivianna 

I interviewed for a job at the Sonoma County Museum a few weeks back and just found out I didn't get it.  A small wave of relief washed over me as I read the rejection email.  The thing is, I wasn't ready to go back to work full-time, but when a job opening at a museum presented itself I felt like I had to jump.  I happen to really enjoy my current non-money making job as wife, mother and homemaker.  Oh, sure, I work part-time doing bookkeeping for a local politician and go into an office two days a week for a few hours to do more bookkeeping, but that's just to earn a little extra money and it's definitely not my passion.

Sometimes it feels like I'm not contributing enough to the equation here on the home front, as I watch my husband work long hours and bring home the bacon.  Do other moms feel this way?  I'm sure they do.  I lamented about this with a friend and she gave me sage advice that I won't soon forget - Your kids are only little once.  You can work full-time later.  Eat rice and beans, if you need to.  Be frugal and consider that your job.  Do whatever you can to be there for Grady.  You think when they are little they need you, but as he approaches middle school (and high school!) he'll need you more than ever.  

And I breathed a sigh of relief.  Relief for the permission to just be a mother and to quit feeling guilty about it.  These last five years since I have sold my shop and Grady has started public school have gone so quickly, as everyone said they would.  I'm just getting the hang of this full-time mothering thing and it's nice to be reminded that I am still valuable, I do work and I can make a difference for our little household just by taking care of my son, our home, cooking dinner, making life easier for my husband so that he can work outside the home and grabbing part-time gigs when my son is at school.  It feels so 1950's and it actually feels good.

I'm ready for this new routine and grateful to a fellow mom for helping to remind me that I already have the best job on the planet.