How I Survived Thanksgiving...

I'm pretty sure I have residual childhood post-traumatic stress disorder and I mostly attribute it to Thanksgiving.  Yes, it sounds strange and even made up - but it's my blog and I'll make shit up if I want to.  And even curse.  There.  Five years of therapy have taught me a thing or two and this year I decided to put it into practice.

The 2nd Annual Valley Ford Pie Auction
Grady made two cherries pies this year - one for the auction & one for us

I'm starting off this post kind of surly, but I turned all of that around this year.  After a disastrous Thanksgiving last year (no one else knew, but I let if fly after everyone left), we joined forces as a couple, as a family.  We divided duties, made a plan and talked about how to let the steam out of this emotional stress pot of a day.  It worked.

Rare family photo
Grady's "Logo" on top of the auction pie
G giving a whipped cream pie to the face of farmer/auctioneer, Nick

To that end, we decided to help Grady make a cherry pie and donate it to the Valley Ford Pie Auction. We had such a good time last year that we wanted to participate by baking AND buying to help support the Valley Ford Volunteer Fire Department "Save Our Old Schoolhouse Fund".  Grady's pie went for $60 and a total of over $3700 was raised in a few short, fun-filled hours.

Steve even bid on a beef kidney + parmesan pie that came with a mason jar full of lard…for $50!!!  Needless to say, he's not allowed to have the auction paddle next year.

Annual school turkey trot raffle winner = Costco pumpkin pie

We kept our guest list small and I enlisted the help of all of my guests and delegated food assignments.  It all worked out perfectly and relieved my anxiety level big time.  I have the best friends.

Morning coffee + sunrise
table linens + origami cicada place cards

Isn't it funny how our childhoods creep into our adult lives and wreak havoc?  I mean, the thrown away turkey dripping debacle of 2012 was still fresh in my mind - but I pushed it aside and even purchased a gravy base from Williams-Sonoma this year.  I was going to make damned sure that the gravy didn't push me over the edge this year.  One tip I'd like to share is that I used a crock pot and set it up on my buffet table.  I made the gravy ahead of time and added pan drippings in the last 15 minutes.  It worked out just great.  My gravy was prepared and ready, out of the way and super silky and delicious.  I'm definitely incorporating this into any future plans that include gravy.  I think Steve is still my friend after this year's meal and that was my goal.  ;-)

We have a lot to be thankful for and we focused on that this year, as well as deep friendships with the people who we were sharing the day with.  We are lucky and grateful.

Steve knocked it out of the park with his turkey, again, this year.  He brined it the day before and it looked and tasted just right.

Sweet potato pumpkin pie + tablescape

By the time dessert rolled around, we were all so full that we just slowly sashayed into the living room and plopped down.  I had purchased digestifs for all of us to try and those really hit the spot.

Grady "the hands" Hecht
Bitters + Jill

Steve opened up a special bottle of 1968 armagnac, while the rest of us sipped on the remaining bubbly.  Jill + Scott shared with us a special bottle of french champagne, as well as a 2004 Iron Horse late disgorged brut sparkling wine.  It was all a treat.

Pie + Coffee
Lone White Egret on Bodega Bay marsh

The day after Thanksgiving is my favorite, really.  I woke up and put on a pot of coffee and cut a slice of cherry pie.  I watched a horrible movie with Grady (The Addams Family) and went on a seven mile walk in Bodega Bay with my girlfriends.  It felt good to work off the food and get caught up on what's going on with everyone.

Saturday found us relaxing on the deck and catching up on our reading stacks.  I just love watching Grady get lost in books.  Right now he's all about Rick Riordan and the Percy Jackson series.

Our goddaughter, Isabella, decided to turn 12 this year - even with my pleading with her to stay little.  She's just not having it.  She called us and invited Grady to a last minute bonfire birthday party on their private beach in Jenner.  He was the only boy (as he usually is) and had a great time eating hot dogs, roasting marshmallows for s'mores and telling scary campfire stories.

He fell into bed smelling like smoke and his face & hands were still quite sticky.  As I tucked him in and kissed him goodnight, I couldn't help but think about how we re-wrote this holiday weekend and made it a stress-free zone.  I know it just takes a little intention and follow through and I'm glad we finally figured that out because I want him to catalog our Thanksgivings a little differently than I have.

And that's how I survived Thanksgiving this year.

Halloween :: Scarecrows + Zombies

Cambria Scarecrows

I made a pact with my girlfriend to get away at the end of October, near her birthday.  We made this plan to meet in Cambria back in the early summer, hugged goodbye after a nice long visit and said we'd make it happen.  As mamas, we get so busy in the day-to-day running of our lives with our kids, husbands, households and community obligations that we sometimes forget to stop and recharge.  Sometimes you need a vacation from your every day and we made good on our promise to each other last weekend and met up in the sleepy little central coast town of Cambria.

Before :: After

As an added bonus and delightful surprise, the town was hosting its 5th annual Cambria Scarecrow Festival.  Hundreds (300+) of creative and whimsical scarecrows were scattered throughout the town and that just made us laugh.  We shopped a bit, walked around town, ate a little, but mostly we spent time in our room talking, sipping adult beverages and laughing until it hurt.

MCM coffee table love + Beth Koelker's Day of the Dead Artwork

I have been looking for a coffee table for our living room since we moved in over seven years ago.  And while we have tried to make due over the years with makeshift options, we were in desperate need of a permanent solution.  And then, BAM!...this little mid-century vintage goodness finds me while I'm in Cambria.  I've been looking for a Noguchi-inspired table for over six months (see here, here and here), but not at a Noguchi price tag.  This one fit the bill and the best part about it?  My husband liked it, too.  Not an easy feat, I assure you.  I brought it in, unwrapped the glass and marveled at how the Thrifting Gods always (eventually) come through.  I love that about thrifting.

Pumpkin Carving Contest
1.  Steve's
2. Grady's
3.  The 1st place winner, Mr. Potter

I arrived home just in time to jump in Steve's car and head to the Annual Chute Pumpkin Carving Contest (See 2009, 2011, 2012).  Steve always creates something great and this year was no exception.  He carved an Angry Fly Pumpkin, while Grady opted for...surprise!...a small Throwing Up Pumpkin.  Ten year old boys are so predictable, aren't they?  The Harry Potter pumpkin ended up taking first place, but not without some controversy.  A few years back they created a no tracing rule and, clearly, this guy cheated!  He did trace, but he also was the favorite of the night.  Next year?  I'm already planning for next year and found a lot of inspiration on this clever and creative art website.

Johns Street Trick-o-treaters

On the eve of Halloween, I was washing my little boy's hair in the bathtub and he shared that he didn't want to wear the Jedi Master costume he had picked out for Halloween.  After some tearful confessions about Star Wars being a little kid thing (is it?), he asked if he could be a baseball player zombie.  Ahhh, yes.  The jig is almost up on being something sweet and fun for Halloween.  Heck, I thought I was stretching when I let him wear some thrifted store bought Star Wars costume last year and was relieved when he cut part of it up and put it under the $5 monk's robe we scored earlier in the month.

Zombie Grady + Dragon Giovanni

Nope.  He wanted to be something with blood.   He problem-solved his lack of a costume with a little bit of help from me (and his friend's mom agreed to do a bit of make-up in the morning before school).  He was happy and only a wee bit bloody.

Mom, this is the best Halloween ever!

We trick-or-treated on our small lane and headed over to Tomales wherein the mothers all commented on how easy it all was this year.  The kids ran from house to house quickly, stayed out of the middle of the road without being told 10,000 times and never strayed far from us.  And while all of this is nice, it made me all a little sad to see my sweet boy transform from being a cute little snuggly dragon in preschool to this 5th grade self-imagined zombie character.  I know, I get it.  It happens, they grow up.  But I'm having a hard time with this stage we're in; the in-between stage.  I can still recall the past Halloween costumes and his utter joy at being (mostly) a dog.  He loved dogs so much.  He wore huskie paw covers, barked a lot, crated himself and could get lost in a world of dog stuffed animals for hours on end.  And let us not forget about his total recall of dog breeds from his well-read dog & puppy encyclopedias.  Yes, his shelf of dog books remain untouched lately and I can't bear to give any of them away.

And so, I watched him enjoy this Halloween and tried to soak it all up.  His joy at his tremendous candy haul and new found freedom in voicing what he wants and watching him make that happen.

I felt like one of those scarecrows I saw in Cambria, quietly observing this emerging young man and it wasn't that scary after all.

October :: Granfondo + 12th Anniversary

October does not disappoint

Life has been so full every single day.  Just when I think I want to come here and write it all down, the next thing is on the calendar and off we go.  I'm not complaining, because I actually like the break it's given me from thinking about what would be pretty to post here or throw up on Instagram.  I like the flow and rhythm we're in right now, as well as the contents of my days, but I also like being the historian for my family, for myself.

MCM chair thrift score!  45 years old with original upholstery and tags

We were out with friends at a museum and Grady casually stated "my mom doesn't really do anything, except lay on her bed and read books".  Huh?  Really?  That's what my son thinks of me?  It stung like a mother f*cker and I let it slowly sink in.

Legion of Honor with Cheryl & Tony

I laughed it off at the moment because I was a little embarrassed, but I really let his impression of me sink in during the two-hour long ride home from San Francisco.  And while I know I do more than lay on my bed and read books, it really bothered me that this is what Grady thinks I do all day.

I decided to share with him what goes into my day as I'm making lists, jumping on the computer to pay bills, readying his breakfast and lunch, scheduling social events, prepping dinner, going to work myself and shuttling him to and from his many sporting events.  I gently reminded him that trips to the library, museums, chess club and shopping don't happen without a mom willing to do the driving.

He was immediately sorry for what he said and that wasn't what I was going for.  I didn't want to chastise him for his thoughts, but I did want to engage him in a conversation about the value of what I do for our family.  Quite honestly, I think I make it look too easy.  I think a lot of moms do.

I also thought it was important for him to value what I do as a mother, wife, friend, neighbor and community volunteer.  I wanted him to value this in all women and realized I've been a little neglectful in valuing myself.  And so, here we go with another tweak to our days - sharing all that goes into making our household run, WITHOUT BEING A MARTYR.  I have my work cut out for me, but since I am woman - no problem.  I'll make it look easy. ;-)

There has been much to celebrate these days with little Sophia (my goddaughter) turning 10 and a group of my close friends walking in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in San Francisco last weekend.  We cheered them on and enjoyed this perfect weather that the last weekend in September affords us year after year.  We also welcomed the autumnal equinox and enjoyed sunrises that have been out of this world.

The guys participated in Levi Leipheimer's Granfondo event this past weekend with the Rangel women.  They opted for the Piccolo route which was 32 miles of bicycle riding through picturesque West Sonoma County.  They finished in a little over four hours, one bike crash (no substantial injuries) and I was so proud of them.  They had trained little and that concerned this lady, but in the end the experience strengthened their resolve to train for next year's ride.

Grady, Steve & Isabella rode together for most of the ride and Sophia & Stephanie powered through a little farther back.  I absolutely love seeing what strong and sweet kids we are helping to navigate this world.  I have no doubt that these memories and experiences will galvanize them as friends and help them to become good citizens of this earth.

I didn't play a lot of sports growing up, but I'm slowing understanding the value of Grady being part of a team and trying new things on for size.  His soccer team just battled for first place in the Under 12 division and the lessons learned from his coach have been invaluable.  Next up...basketball season.

Our his + her stack for this month

Our library visits have morphed and changed over the last year or so.  Not so long ago my boy was reading with a big goal in sight (he read 417 books in 2012!), but since school let out last June it's been all about pleasure reading.  He can quickly fill his book bag and max out his library card with 30 books, most of those being graphic novels.

I've been doing my fair share of research and adding a few books to our mobile library list.  He used to just dive into whatever I recommended, but he's pickier these days and it's getting harder to entice him with award-winning authors.  I have found that if I at least start the book for him or read the inside jacket, he'll give it a whirl - but only if it strikes his fancy.  If not, it's cast out.  If he doesn't care for the title or cover artwork - gone!  He's ruthless right now, but still reading up a storm (on his terms).

I was having a conversation about e-readers the other day with a friend and Grady piped up that he didn't ever want one.  It would seem a natural fit, since he flies through books, but he shared that he likes going to the library too much and holding an actual book in his hand.  This was one of my proudest mama moments of late.  And while the appeal of an iPod touch still floats around in his head, the iPad or Nook or Kindle are not something I have to worry about for right now.

"12 Years" a Portrait of Us by Grady Salas Hecht
Us back in 1998

This blog had it's six year anniversary on October 1st.  I can't believe I've been coming here to write tidbits about our life for that long.  Odd and satisfying at the same time.

Speaking of anniversaries, we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on Sunday.  We spent the day as a family shopping, having lunch and watching a documentary about the Impressionists.  Quiet, relaxing and just what we needed.  Grady drew a portrait of us as we sat in our respective chairs Sunday evening.

Best present ever.

Advent Fun + Skating + Crafting

I have been having so much fun with the Advent Calendar this year.  Each morning I stuff the little red envelope with something fun to do and it's worked out quite nicely.

Principal's List for the 1st time!  Calvin & Grady only two from 4th grade with 4.0 GPAs

The rains have stopped, but the roads were flooded due to the run off from the hillsides.  Between Steve and myself, we trekked to G's school five times in one day.  Between drop off, honor roll award presentation, mobile library, basketball practice & the high school mentoring program meetings...well, let's just say we logged the miles on this day and didn't get very far away from home.

Reflection tree on Highway One near Erickson Ranch & flooding on Hwy One @ Moreda Ranch

Bake & Drink

This stormy weather makes me want to hunker down and turn on my oven.  I made short ribs for the first time this week and they were absolutely delicious.  This entire meal will make a repeat performance the next time we have the occasion for a dinner party.  Also, it's been forever since I made cookies and the advent calendar gave me just the excuse I needed to whip up a few batches for the guys.

The week is drying out and the guys took the opportunity to play a little mush ball and have a little father-son bonding time.

Advent Day #7 did not disappoint

We got around to putting up our little funky vintage silver xmas tree.  We pulled out ornaments, played a little xmas music and had a quiet dinner together.  We were all a little spent from our day, so it was simple and sweet.

I don't ever remember making a gingerbread house as a kid.  Maybe we did?  If so, I just can't remember.  Last year I bought a little kit from Trader Joe's and G loved building it with his dad.  We did the same thing this year.  

Our sweet goddaughter, Isabella, turned 11 years old last weekend and wanted to celebrate at Cal Skate roller rink in Rohnert Park.  Be still my heart.  I had instant flashbacks to when I used to reign as Queen of the Limbo Contest at Roller City in 1978.  I used to order suicides (a concoction of every soda pop they had mixed into one big, gross cup) and skate backwards.  I used to wear white, so I would glow when they turned off the lights and the black lights would go on near the stage.  My mom used to drop me off there all alone and I'd skate for six hours straight.  My heaven.

Roller Derby Wannabes
Mother-Son skates
G playing it cool during the hokey-pokey

I donned a pair of skates with the other moms, but let me tell you - it was not like riding a bike.  Oh, it was harder than I remember, but really, really fun.  Grady tried to play it cool, but he had a bit of a time getting around the rink.  By the end of the day, he held my hand and told me I was pretty good.  A high compliment coming from him.

Homemade hot cocoa + marshmallows

We made our way over to Bodega on Sunday morning for a five hour craft workshop with Stacy *Wonder Woman* Finke at G's old preschool.  This woman oozes style & creativity at every turn.  Upon walking up to the little red schoolhouse, you are instantly greeted with hand-felted garland, stenciled welcome signs & pom-pom ornaments.

G did a little making and then volunteered to work with the little ones outside.  They climbed trees and ran around.  A little two year old named, Ezra, was Grady's shadow for most of the day.  He also joined forces in the afternoon with two alumni from his preschool class, Spencer & Bella, and they got permission to go climb the hillsides across from the school yard.  Oh, how the little boys wanted to go with the big kids.  The perched themselves on the picket fence and patiently waited until they came barreling down the hill, laughing and talking - as big kids do.

Bubbly + Glitter Paper = Super Fantastic Day

I set out in earnest to learn block printing & carving and had great success - thanks, again, to Ms. Finke's guidance & tutorials.  

I then proceeded to make felted acorns, stationary and a glitter bunting to use for the holidays and beyond.  Stacy rounded out the day by serving the kids cookies & milk and the ladies all received chilled bubbly.  And before you knew it...five hours had passed.

New bunting adorning the dining room
Day Ten :: Play Xmas Music All. Night Long.
Tea + wrapping tools
New hand carved stamps

Day 10 found me a little bit exhausted from all the fun we had over the weekend, but I rallied and turned my dining room table into Santa's workshop.  I pulled together gifts for my sister and her girls, as well as Kacy's family.  I wrapped & adorned all of the packages and even got them in the mail today, on time and as planned.  I think that crafting workshop got me motivated and I wanted to make every gift as pretty as I could.

This week was beautiful.

And fun.

This week filled me up creatively.

And exhausted me just a little bit.

Drinking tea today.

Getting ready to do it all over again this week.

Oh, yes.

Pie + Turkey = Oh, My!

I am thankful I live in a town that hosted its first annual Pie Auction.  Oh, yes.  It was awesome.  The Valley Ford Young Farmers Association put on quite a community bash last week and it is sure to be a yearly event.  It has been well established that I love me an auction and "winning" auction items, ahem, I mean bidding & buying items at an auction.  Well, this was no exception.  The old schoolhouse was decorated to the nines with cute, country kitsch.  The farmers were decked out in their best cowboy chic attire & the auctioneer was a hoot.  I left with three pies & a one year membership/subscription to our local U-pick veggie stand, Bloomfield Farms.  It was the best way to buy pies for Thanksgiving.

1.  Quinoa Salad w/ Fall Fruit
2. G's pancake flipping lesson
3. Charlie's homemade lemon meringue pie

Food has been a focal point over the last few weeks.  Crab season opened up and we had it two nights in a row!  There is nothing better than the first crab of the season.  When paired with sparkling wine, friends, laughter, stories & topped off with a little sweet finish...nirvana.

The art of correspondence is a constant lesson for the boy.  I think it's so important to be thankful and show appreciation for other's efforts and gifts.  We spent a quiet Sunday morning ticking thank you notes off of Grady's to-do list and adorned the envelopes with stamps and stickers.  A little something extra to make the recipient smile.  And since this month's focus is on being thankful, it was a great conversation starter about why we send the notes in the first place.

We spent Thanksgiving Eve prepping for the big day, playing cards, getting the table set and making the world-famous secret cranberries.

Color and inspiration were all around me this week.  I thrifted some vintage linens, foraged for herbs, persimmons & blood oranges (a surprise find!).  There is so much beauty just outside our door and I needed the reminder to stay grounded during this crazy time of year.  Keep it simple.  And I did just that.

Our guest list was small this year, but out planned menu was fit for a King!  We all pitched in and helped to create a meal to remember.

Steve brined the turkey this year and it was the moistest turkey we've ever had.  We must do that again next year.  Scott gave Grady a mashed potato tutorial and gained a fan for his whipped potato method.

Scott & Jill brought over the most beautifully presented appetizers and Eric K. shared Petaluma Creamery's delicious ice creams with us.  And let us not forget the pies.  Oh, Patty O. gifted us a homemade cherry pie that was the favorite of the evening.

As usual, G was the only kid.  He spent time up in his tree, helped with set-up and cleared the table.  He got dressed up in his favorite shirt of the moment and asked me to take the shot of him above on the picket fence.  He kind of loves himself right now and can't stop looking in the mirror any chance he can get.

And while I tried to get a family photo that wasn't blurry, I clearly did not succeed.  It's the best I could do and I feel lucky I convinced the guys to stop for a moment, pause and join me.

The gusto I had preparing for Thanksgiving left me late that night and I was ready to hunker down, do a little crafting, read and enjoy the long stretch of days in front of me.  We filled the time with movies, books & housework.

Melancholy set in with me for my siblings & parents this weekend, as holidays seem to do.  As I fill up my social calendar and work hard to create traditions and holiday cheer for Grady & Steve, I am often left feeling empty about it all.  And so, I am going to try and make a concerted effort to focus on experiences this coming month and not on things.  I will do, as Yoda says, there is no try.

This weekend was also the Mathers' tree-trimming party.  It is one of my favorite nights of the year.

We trim the tree with hundreds of white seashells, lovingly searched for and turned into ornaments by Suzann and her daughter years ago.  Her tree looks like it should be in a magazine by the end of the night and I love that she lets us go to town on it!

Grady had a little playmate named Lucas, who is four years old.  He was so enamored with Grady and was his little shadow all night.  He was funny and sweet and reminded me a little of Grady.

The weekend ended uneventfully, as each of us retreated to our corners of the property.  Steve in his shop finishing a piece of furniture for our living room; Grady in his studio listening to books on tape and creating origami masterpieces; and I read an entire book and enjoyed the quiet meditation of laundry, dishes and the occasional nap.

All is quiet and peaceful after the holiday weekend on Johns Street.  

I am thankful for pie.

I am thankful for friends.

I am thankful for my son.

I am thankful for nature.

I am thankful for family.

I am thankful for this life.