'Tis the [stormy] Season

Life has been so full lately.  I know this is true for everyone out there, but I just know it's especially true for women.  Among my girlfriends, I know we shoulder the brunt of the holiday list-making and gift-buying-wrapping-mailing-giving.  Sure, my husband does a thing or two to help keep me off the holiday crazy train, but it's mostly left up to me.  Now, don't get me wrong - I enjoy most of it, but sometimes it feels like it's just too freaking much.  

And so I really went into this month with the intention of doing less and being really present this season.  It's harder than I thought, but I'm feeling the benefit of it.  The first order of business was to lighten our December social calendar.  Declining invitations is a definite exercise in restraint (which is not really my forté) but, in doing so, I felt a big sigh of relief.  It was a start.

I don't know about you, but around the 10th of December I kind of start to freak out.  There are handmade items to cook, make & package up and get in the mail so loved ones receive them by Xmas.  

I love this part and I hate this part.  

Treats for the doggies in our lives :: recipe here

I love it because I get great joy out of ritual and tradition.  Creating things with our hands and gifting them to people we care about really makes me happy.  The pockets of time spent drawing or carving stamps become little gifts for me.  The conversations that spring from this merry-making often give me the little push to keep going.

Stationary sets :: we each carved a block to print with 

I also hate this part because I get all ratcheted up and stressed out.  It always seeps out and the passive-aggressive control freak in me unleashes on my poor family.  My to-do list becomes all important and I start to question why I do this to myself; to us.

Molly Wizenberg's Three Layer Peppermint Bark :: Amazing!  Make it. You won't be sorry.

Well, not this year.  

While I did feel a welling up of stress, a freak storm system rolled into Northern California and left us without power for 12 hours during massive wind and rain storms.  And let me tell you, I got some major shit done in 12 hours without any electricity and a dead cell phone.  For reals.

Top-secret Hecht family kahlua recipe :: even I don't know what's in it, seriously

School was cancelled for two whole days and that spilled into the weekend, making for four long, productive days at home.

Our dear friends and neighbors had a big bash over the weekend and that spurred some pre-storm shoe shopping.  Red satin heels ($8) and bronze knee-high boots ($7.50) were my thrift scores.  And, I gotta be honest, I kind of feel like Wonder Woman when I wear the boots and Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz when donning the red ones.

Printmaking is my new favorite thing, too.  Along with smiling.  

We made a print of 50 wonky circles for our friend's 50th trip around the sun.  All three of us carved up the stamps and used red screen printing ink on kraft paper.  The paper is special to me, as it was given to me at a writing retreat earlier this year.  I saved it for just the right project and it turned out just beautiful.

I can't believe it's almost the end of the year.  My drawing a day journal for 2014 is one of my most prized possessions.  The daily ritual was hard at first, but has blossomed into this almost meditative way to start my day.  Pens, paper and coffee at the kitchen table.  I'll write more about this project in a future blog post, but this journal is my new favorite.

This guy.

He's been wearing this sweatshirt (almost) daily since November 10th.  He thinks it's the best thing ever and I think it's kind of cute how much he loves it.  Don't get me wrong, I don't love it being worn every single freaking day, but think he's sweet and funny for wearing it.

I hope to burn it on December 26th.  Kidding.  Sort of.

It's still raining up here and the highways are intermittently flooded to and from town, depending on the tide.  Winter is upon us and the wet weather is so very welcome to all of us in California.  

All of the out of town packages are mailed and gifts have been made or purchased.  This week has been left wide open for movie-watching and cooking a big pot of soup.  I definitely feel like I've made space and time for our family this year, minus the small stress attack around the 10th of the month.

We cancelled our annual Xmas eve open house in our home and have opted for a quiet dinner with a couple of friends instead.  Again, stretching a new social muscle is hard, but I'm really looking forward to cooking this prime rib for the first time and beating everyone at Scrabble.  Ha!

The only holiday decorations around the house are a few scattered reindeer, a string of white lights in G's room and our Xmas tree.  It feels right this season.

Less really is more for us and not just a tired cliché.

It's been a slow lesson to learn, but I'm grateful for the time and space to swim in this new way of doing the holidays.  At first, I felt sad because G was getting older and I thought the magic would disappear.  Instead, we've been sharing words and feelings about the season and what it means to our little family.  

Last night, while driving home from town, Grady shared that he still believes in Santa, but kind of thinks we have something to do with it.  When I asked him how he came to that conclusion, he shared that we (his parents) have messed up on a few of our stories lately and that the prior year's Santa letters (that I save in our Xmas box) have handwriting that looks a lot like our handwriting.

Hmm.  That's weird.

He didn't want to fess up 100% about the non-belief and I think he did that more for me.  He knows how much I enjoy having fun with the season.  His wish list was short this year and he passed up the opportunity to go to the annual Xmas party where he usually sits on Santa's lap.  He told me sitting on Santa's lap would feel awkward and you know what?  I would have to agree with him on that front.

As always, I'm following his lead.

The last little project on my list was to paint a tree for Grady for Xmas.

Every year we make one another a handmade gift.  Last year, I failed to deliver on said gift and, therefore, I'm making good on it this year.  I let the busyness and travel plans interfere with the one thing Grady asked me for.

A painted tree.

Looking back at my blog, I see that he asked for a painted tree in 2012, too.  He gives me simple assignments because he knows I'm not the artist his father is!  Check out how Steve showed me up in 2010 with his parrot painting.

And so it's almost here.  Six more days until Xmas.

Merry Xmas, friends.

Valley Ford Pie Auction 2014

The Third Annual Valley Ford Pie Auction was a raging success!  The Valley Ford Young Farmers' Association, along with many community volunteers, helped to raise thousands of dollars for the building improvement fund for the historic Valley Ford Schoolhouse (where the auction and many other fundraisers takes place over the year).

Grady made a black cherry pie that sold for $200.  He was surprised and so very proud.

This event kicked off our Thanksgiving weekend and really set the mood for good food, drink + friends.

weekending :: mother's day

Artwork circa 1976

Mother's Day always feels a little loaded to me.  I know I have a lot of quiet expectations for the day and sometimes I wrestle with those feelings.

My husband's mom died when he was six years old.  He didn't get the chance to go to her funeral.  Shortly thereafter, he had a very stoic, unaffectionate step-mother that raised him for all of those in between years until he went to college (and then his parents divorced).  I always kind of expect him to show Grady how to celebrate me on Mother's Day and you know what?  He doesn't really have those tools in his tool box.

Don't get me wrong, he does the best he knows how to do - but not having a mom who dotes on you or showers you with love and affection can really tweak the way you love people.

Grady growing like a weed among our weeds

With the help and inspiration of Mamalode, I decided to throw a little Mother's Day Eve party with a handful of my friends who are also mothers.  If you're reading this and you know me, well, you know I love the eve of just about anything - birthdays, xmas, Thanksgiving, Arbor Day.   It was completely low key.  Everyone brought appetizers and a bottle of wine.  Husbands dropped their wives off and picked them up when it was all said and done.

We sipped on a lot of sparkling wine, told funny stories, talked about schools, cursed a fair amount and laughed really hard.  I don't get to see these moms very often, but it felt so good to come together and share our journey of motherhood.  I'm absolutely going to do this again next year.

My husband and son usually cook and clean up on mother's day.  This year was no exception.  I woke up early and grabbed my pillow, blanket and book and sat outside watching the sunrise until both of my guys woke up.

My silly models posed for me while I figured out my Polaroid Land Camera settings
Steve's hair is epic in these photos

Steve taught Grady how to make me coffee and fixed breakfast while I doodled and painted at the kitchen table in my art journal.

Grady retreated to his art studio for most of the day, surfacing only to make himself a PB&J and to grab more books and supplies from his bedroom.

My husband decided to give me the best present.  Wait for it . . . we purged several of our kitchen cabinets and loaded up my car with donations for the thrift store.  I know, I know - romantic, right?  He also cleaned up his office and tidied up the garage.  Usually, he's working for most of the day on Mother's Day, but today he was available and present and that was the best gift.  All of us together working on the house and/or our projects.

Blurry Polaroid Landcamera photo using black/white film
Mother's Day 2014

I also realized that asking for what I want on Mother's Day is okay.  Often times I just suppress it and hope my guys read my mind.  This year, I asked for the house to myself the evening before Mother's Day to celebrate with my friends.  I asked Grady to make me a card.  I asked for us to do a project together (and we did).  So, even though my husband's emotional Mother's Day toolbox was rusty, he totally came through and showed my son how to quietly celebrate me.

And nothing makes a Virgo mom happier than a reorganized kitchen and a homemade card.

Nothing.

I heart Valentine's Day

There is so much to love about Valentine's Day when you have a little one.  This holiday resonates with me because it's all about correspondence and a little something sweet.  I know there is a lot of Valentine's Day angst if you're single, but I really love making cards with Grady and sending some snail mail to our closest friends and loved ones.

Spring fever has arrived a little early in G's fifth grade classroom.  Cootie catchers, folded up (and unsigned!) love notes stashed at the bottom of his backpack and reports of girls chasing him and throwing erasers at him during class.  Also, his hair gel/hairspray/blowdryer morning ritual has been sweet to witness.  Someone wants to look nice for…someone?

Grady has definitely cared more about his appearance the last few months.  Hair, clothing, shoes, accessories and the ever-present, but rotating, hat choices.  He has an ever-evolving style and this year has definitely been about the shoes and the color purple.

I think he has a little crush on a pretty little 4th grader, but he's been tight-lipped about all things that involve girls.  Mom, they're just my FRIENDS and they happen to be GIRLS.  That's it.

I'm still enjoying the time we share together at home making art, reading books, as well as visiting museums and libraries.

We've been heading over to Middle Road after school and I'll walk/jog about two miles and he'll ride his bike alongside me.  He really opens up to me during this time and it frees us both from the confines of our after school routines.  Homework and dinner prep is put on hold for just 45 minutes while we work out the day and release some stress.  We both come home invigorated and ready to dig into our chores.  I'm love, love, loving this new routine and the one-on-one time with my boy.

And while I don't require a dozen red roses or a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day, there is nothing that makes me happier than a homemade Valentine and a few handwritten words.  Always.

This year's Valentine inspiration was an origami heart.  I found a short tutorial on pinterest and showed it to Grady.  He had it mastered in a few minutes and set about using every single piece of small origami paper he had in his studio.  He particularly loved the new patterned paper that my friend's girls sent him for xmas and spent hours in his studio listening to Harry Potter CD's and folding.

Class parties for Grady + some love notes.

Underwood for lunch with my man and my first ever Negroni.

Iron Horse Winery for sparkling wine in their outdoor tasting room.  We just became members!

A leisurely drive over to Bodega Bay for fresh crab for Steve's delicious crab cakes tonight.

A game of Chinese Checkers with the boy.

The Big Lebowski DVD + white russians on the couch with my Valentine.

I love this sweet day.

2014 :: Acceptance

This year started out slow and quiet.  Our family spent a quiet night watching movies and falling asleep before midnight.  It was exactly what we needed after the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

I jumped back into my exercise routine by taking a six mile New Year's Day hike with my fellas and our good friends.  I also had the urge to cook at home and try to reboot our healthy eating habits.

Coffee + Beet Juice Study

I've started a drawing a day journal, along with Grady, and I think this will be a fun exercise in trying new things and not getting so attached or intimidated by making art.  Grady plans on using his Brushes application on the iPad and saving same in Dropbox every day this calendar year.  Yes, he's learning a lot about that thing.

Keri Smith's Wreck This Journal Series were a big hit with the kids

We ended the last few days of winter break with friends.  G had his bestie sleep over (which is almost unheard of around here!) and the Rangel girls spent a sunny Sunday with us playing games, running around the property with water guns and critiquing the chicken liver pate that I made with Jill earlier in the week.  The verdict?  It needs a bit more salt say the juvenile pate experts.

It took us all week, but we finally finished writing our thank you notes.  I usually like to have this done on January 1st, but it just wasn't in the cards this year.

My word for the year is Acceptance.  Last year's words were Let It Go.  I feel like I did relinquish a few things in my mind, as well as in my day-to-day life of obligations in 2013.  I really let traditions go over the holidays and it did feel good to let it go and try something new.

I'll work harder on accepting myself this year, my choices, my life and how I contribute to this great big beautiful world.  I'm going to try a few new things on for size and accept my progress as success, whether I succeed in the traditional sense or not - I will have tried something new and that's going to be enough for me this year.

I'll also accept my past failures, transgressions and mistakes.  I'm not perfect and I'm worried that if I don't finally accept all of my failings, I'll keep repeating them.  I need to let the past go and move on. I have so many things and people to be grateful for.

We ended this week at our secret beach in Jenner.  The kids had so much fun running, jumping, whipping seaweed through the air and being silly with one another.  I had a million other things to get done at home, but I'm so glad I stopped and accepted the opportunity to get out into the world and enjoy these three little souls.

Happy New Year, friends.

Xmas Road Trip :: Southern California

The days leading up to our road trip to Southern California were filled with lots of busyness and finalizing little handmade projects, packing suitcases and doing all the things you do before you leave home for a stretch of days.

Cornflake wreath gifted to us every year by a dear friend

We were surprisingly calm in the wake of our little adventure and I attribute this to how intent we all were on enjoying the journey.  It wasn't all about presents or staying home this year.  We were breaking tradition and hoped that we would be better for it.

Xmas shopping relief in Bodega Bay

I hit a patch of stress during the week leading up to our departure, but quickly spun out of it.  What I realized is that I have such power over how I react to situations and I rarely serve myself or my family when I sit in that place for too long.

We hiked around the back of our property the night before we left and visited the llamas, hunted for feathers and watched the sun dip down over the hillside.

Our little family was so ready and it felt so good, satisfying even, to turn off the heat, lock the doors and hit the road.

I gifted Grady a few books for the long journey and he quickly dove into reading Riordan's The Son of Neptune and listening over and over again to Lorde's inaugural album on his iPod.

We approached our destination in the early afternoon and marveled at the barren landscape and gigantic, hardworking windmills that dotted the dry, scruffy desert floor.  Palm Desert was in our sights.

We quickly settled in with Steve's lifelong friend and his girlfriend + nine month old baby boy.  They are in the United States for six months, visiting from Paris, and they were nice enough to let us stay with them at their cousin's vacation home for four days.

We enjoyed slow mornings, lots of coffee, unlimited cribbage matches, a trip to the day spa and watching the Sound of Music with Grady.

Photo courtesy of David Silpa

We spotted our first roadrunner, swam in the community pool and hit the local area thrift shops.  I even spent an evening with an old high school friend and his family, who lived just eight miles away from where we were staying.  Steve and his friend went to a local casino (and won!) and we even toured Cathedral City looking at xmas lights.

Grady was smitten with this little french bebe and got a little sad as we readied to leave our friends.  He loves him so much (and so do we!) and thinks they are like cousins.  Well, they kind of are.

We said our goodbyes and made promises of getting together again in the very near future.  We hopped in the car on Xmas even and pointed it towards Oceanside, where Steve's dad lives.

The Dinosaurs of Cabazon

The weather has been incredible so far and we drove with the sunroof open and enjoyed the sunshine.  It was such a welcome change from the cold, stormy xmases that we typically spend on the Sonoma Coast.

We lugged our bags inside and enjoyed a few days of xmas cheer with Steve's dad, grandmother and the errant family members who popped by for a quick hug and a glass of bubbly.

I discovered that the xmas spirit has skipped a generation in Steve's family.  His dad's home was tastefully decorated with vintage xmas ornaments from his mother and grandmother, a train track was set up around the tree and his grandmother's xmas china set out on the table just waiting for xmas dinner.  It's come to my attention that perhaps my husband's disdain for xmas decor was a genetic defect because everyone else in his family is into it.  Grandma Lavinia showed up wearing a xmas vest, Aunt Bev popped by wearing jingle bell earrings, a Santa hat and Santa shorts.  Who knew they made those?  I took it all in and appreciated my in-laws in a new, heartfelt way.

It was a technology xmas for the Hecht household.  After the crushing disappointment last year for the boy over an iPod Touch, my husband convinced me that it was time for Grady to experiment with a little technology and so an iPad mini was the only gift Santa brought this year.  When Grady opened his Santa Sack he looked a little stunned and then happy, really happy.

Steve drew a Willow Tree for Grady using the Brushes application & printed

I have my reasons for holding him back in this area, but Steve also had valid reasons for wanting him to be set free to learn and explore on the iPad.  I will write more about this later, but I chose to embrace it and let my son (and father) bask in all of the technological glory that was in their hands.

Grady carved and painted me the annual garden marker to add to my collection.  This one is a black phoebe and just needs the right sized stick when we get home.  This is a bird that visits just outside our kitchen window in the morning and I can never remember its name.  I will now.

The day after xmas was almost 80 degrees and so we took a drive to the Oceanside Pier and strolled down the boardwalk.

Grady scored some sweet sunglasses at a little vintage thrift store and posed with this suspicious looking brown pelican.

Mom scored some fun glasses, too.

Three generations of Hecht men.  They are from solid, honest, hardworking stock and I love them dearly.

The next leg of our journey took us to Anaheim Hills to stay with my bestie and her family.  We quickly fell into easy conversation, opened a bottle of bubbly and caught up on all of life's happenings.

Her oldest is leaving for Spain in January and we were happy to see her face and meet the boyfriend that she will be traveling with for the next year.

This is the worst picture, but I wanted to capture our little guys (and big) with the limo driver we had.  Scott arranged for a driver to take us to sushi and they took us home in a limo for the boys.  Grady thought it was the coolest thing ever!

We had a great time with our friends and packed it up for home Sunday morning.  It's hard to say goodbye, but we were ready to get back to our little home on the hill in Valley Ford.