Published!

My first ever accepted essay, Snap, has been published today over at mamalode.com.  I originally wrote this story here on my blog last September on my 43rd birthday.  It's raw and revealing about my family.  I've been a bundle of nerves waiting for it to go live.

Please check it out here at and let me know what you think.

And, yes, my headshot is a blurry iPhone photo of me in cop glasses.  It's the best I could do.

Happy Friday, friends.

Disconnected :: Connected

Arriving in San Jose, Costa Rica (Sunrise)

As we drove away from our home and down the dirt road that leads us to Highway One, sheets of rain came down in earnest.  Up ahead, the road was flooded and we had to detour to Petaluma.  

We shed our coats and hastily threw them back in our car and made a break for the shuttle bus pointed towards San Francisco.  We just made it.  

At San Francisco Airport the Delta employee moved us to an earlier flight to insure we would make our next connection.  LAX airport had been grounded due to weather.  We waited, along with a hundred or so other people and quietly ticked off the minutes in our minds, calculating how long we had to make our connecting flight.

We had 13 minutes to disembark from our plane, run through the terminal O.J. Simpson-style and hop on the Boeing 757 with five minutes to spare.  This was the red-eye flight from LAX to San Jose, Costa Rica and relief washed over us as we settled into our stiff, upright seats.  

We arrived into San Jose groggy and our clothes wrinkled.  After clearing customs and shuffling towards baggage claim, the warm air enveloped us as we exited the airport and we slowly slid into our waiting taxi and immediately dozed off to sleep.

Best last minute thrifting decision.  A carry-on/beach bag that holds EVERYTHING!

As we pulled into Quepos, our eyes adjusted to the small city that we would call home for nine days.  There were dozens of pedestrians risking their lives to cross the street, bicycles rolling towards to the grocery store and colorful signage decorating the buildings as we whirred past.

Our friend built the house we would be staying at in Quepos and he was kind enough to let us stay here to mark Steve’s 50th birthday.  As we pulled up to our friend’s home, we were a bit weathered from traveling.  We walked up the tiled steps and were greeted by a bright yellow facade and a backyard full of roughly landscaped jungle.

I've been trying to read this book for years.  I finally settled in and can't put it down.

There is a cacophony of insects and birds singing and talking to the wind just outside the window screens.  We quickly set about unpacking, changing our stale clothes.  Our only priority was hanging the hammocks and settling in for an afternoon of napping.

The art of an ice cold beverage here is really important.  Fresca, rum over ice, bottled water.  We imbibed to stay cool, we imbibed to feel refreshed.

There is an unhurried vibe in the home (very much unlike our home).  The air is thick with laziness and moisture.

As we were lulled to dreamland in our rocking hammocks, music quietly oozed out of the screen windows…

Bob Marley.
Mermen.
Clem Snide.

We were languid and relaxed.  The days, weeks and months of responsibilities quickly were shed from our overloaded minds.  Our only jobs were to read, lay about and listen to music.  This pattern was quick to develop and surprisingly easy to adapt to.

The hammocks are a revelation.  Why do we not currently own a hammock (or two)?  How is it that we’ve been together all these years and no hammock has been hung from the fruit trees in our small orchard?  Oh, we will definitely be getting a hammock when we get home.  The boy is smitten and his daily afternoon siestas are becoming a thing of beauty.  He retreats to the back deck, kicks off his shoes, bundles himself up in the fetal position and then sleep rapidly takes over his little body.  I slowly rock the hammock and softly brush the short thicket of hair across his forehead.  His breathing is easy, rhythmic and steady.  He is in a deep, deep sleep.  I can’t stop watching him from where I lie.  I love him so much at this moment and want to burn this memory on my brain forever, so that I can come back and visit it whenever I want.  

Grady's hammock of choice on the shady back deck

My heart is so full for both of the guys in my life.  We needed this trip.  All of us really, really needed it.

The afternoon heat is sweltering.  Clothing of any kind becomes like a noose around our entire bodies.  We have taken to shedding all clothing and wearing the lightweight comfort of a colorful rectangle of fabric, a sarong.

My husband’s quick transformation into a sarong-wearing slacker delights and surprises me.  Grady has taken to calling our sarong-wearing ways to an exaggerated “soooooo wrong”, but I quite like the change.  We slipped out of our city clothes and easily slid into our off-mode.  We picked up our unread books, colored the blank pages of our journals and busted out our vintage set of dominoes.  

In our day-to-day lives we are busy, focused, driven and task-oriented.  I like that about us.  And…I sometimes don’t like that about us.

Manuel San Antonio National Park Beach

Today we disconnected.

And we connected.