Winding down + New Routine

Sunday morning walking group on Doran Beach, Bodega Bay

As the days of summer are winding down, I've been reflecting on what and how we filled our days and how very quickly they came and went.  I start to feel a little melancholy for the season that isn't really officially over, but I'm aware of its demise and mourn the loss of our complete and total freedom.

This summer went by so very fast, but I enjoyed it.  All of it.  And while we didn't do everything on our summer wish list, we did new and unexpected things (Hello, Alaska!).

Shoes I've been searching for all summer long finally found me at the local thrift shop
Reading this sweet book by librarian, Josh Hanagarne

I look forward to a new rhythm in our home and like seeing it take shape organically.  This second week of school has reminded me of the daily rituals that keep our home humming - coffee, breakfast, to-do lists and morning laundry.  As I slide out bed and shuffle to the bathroom, my head fills with thoughts of things that must get done today, projects I want to explore and what's for dinner.

Thrifted onesie + Hot Pink Ombré Monkey design by Grady
This little gem will be a present for our neighbor's new baby, Vivianna 

I interviewed for a job at the Sonoma County Museum a few weeks back and just found out I didn't get it.  A small wave of relief washed over me as I read the rejection email.  The thing is, I wasn't ready to go back to work full-time, but when a job opening at a museum presented itself I felt like I had to jump.  I happen to really enjoy my current non-money making job as wife, mother and homemaker.  Oh, sure, I work part-time doing bookkeeping for a local politician and go into an office two days a week for a few hours to do more bookkeeping, but that's just to earn a little extra money and it's definitely not my passion.

Sometimes it feels like I'm not contributing enough to the equation here on the home front, as I watch my husband work long hours and bring home the bacon.  Do other moms feel this way?  I'm sure they do.  I lamented about this with a friend and she gave me sage advice that I won't soon forget - Your kids are only little once.  You can work full-time later.  Eat rice and beans, if you need to.  Be frugal and consider that your job.  Do whatever you can to be there for Grady.  You think when they are little they need you, but as he approaches middle school (and high school!) he'll need you more than ever.  

And I breathed a sigh of relief.  Relief for the permission to just be a mother and to quit feeling guilty about it.  These last five years since I have sold my shop and Grady has started public school have gone so quickly, as everyone said they would.  I'm just getting the hang of this full-time mothering thing and it's nice to be reminded that I am still valuable, I do work and I can make a difference for our little household just by taking care of my son, our home, cooking dinner, making life easier for my husband so that he can work outside the home and grabbing part-time gigs when my son is at school.  It feels so 1950's and it actually feels good.

I'm ready for this new routine and grateful to a fellow mom for helping to remind me that I already have the best job on the planet.

Last Day of Summer Vacation

Dear Grady,

Yesterday was the last day of summer vacation and boy did we have a fun-filled one this year.  As I looked ahead to the summer months, I made sure to sprinkle in some camps, some adventures and some down time for you and for us as a family.

We made time for a trip to Southern California to see your grandfather, as well as our maiden voyage to Legoland with our best friends, the Christiansens.

We made time for games, library visits, making art and reading when we could grab the chance.  You installed the coolest origami yoda installation in our  kitchen and I absolutely love it.

You enjoyed summer academy at your elementary school and shared your newfound knowledge of the capybara, the world's largest rodent.  You studied anatomy and drew animals that you found interesting.

You attended CYO camp in Occidental, went to the farmers' market with me and picked veggies at Bloomfield Farms.

We spent a week in Bodega Bay where you fine-tuned your golf game, discovered the joys of the tennis rally and swam until your lips turned blue in the community pool.

You renewed friendships and said goodbye to Seth & Heather, too.

An impromptu trip to Alaska landed in our laps courtesy of Stephanie, so we figured it out and jumped on a plane the first week of August and headed north, via 1st class (a first for us!).  You thoroughly enjoyed going to the front of each line and getting your own personal device to watch movies on, as well as really cool headphones.

Alaska was amazing.  You and the girls soaked it all up and were the best kids on the planet to vacation with.  You attended a marine mammal camp and learned so very much in such a short amount of time.

The weeks passed all too quickly and we now have to get you ready for 5th grade.  I can hardly believe it, but I think I say that every year.

The naked ladies are blooming and that means summer vacation has officially come to an end.  We spent the last day as a family riding bikes along the Willow Creek Trail (you and your father) and I walked...and got lost.  Shocker, right?

You surprised me with your new Shaun White skinny, skinny jeans in turquoise and sported this snowboarder's brand head-to-toe on your first day of school.

We had so many wonderful times this summer and I loved watching you try new things, gain confidence, branch out, be fearless and even win an ice cream eating contest!  Yes, you had fun this summer.

I look forward to this new school year and what you will teach me about you.

With all my love,

Mom

Alaska :: Days 5 - 10

There is a freedom that comes with sending your child off to camp and a small amount of dread, too.  This week found me conflicted with my new found leisure time, as I was in a new state with oodles of time to kill.  I read, edited photos, wrote a little bit, spent hours at the museum, met friends and dined out.  That was all on Day One of G being at camp.  Yes, it would be a long week.

Anchorage Museum

Downtown Anchorage Hot Spots with Stephanie

Alaska has been heart-achingly beautiful.  I totally get why they call this state The Last Frontier, as it's so pristine and rugged.

The Kenai River + alone time

Thursday found us packing up the rental apartment (Stephanie's home for the last five weeks) and hitting the road down to Homer.  I picked Steph up at work, jumped on Highway One South and weaved my way through craggy mountains, hypnotic blue skies and aquamarine rivers.

Homer is a classic, hard-working fishing village and we were staying in the thick of it - just across from The Fish Factory and a major offloading dock on The Homer Spit.  If we had changed for dinner, we would have been overdressed, so we opted for our casual, well-worn road trip outfits and hit the town.

Land's End for dinner.  The Salty Dawg Saloon for adult libations, jukebox selections and lessons on the art of playing pool.  We drank Duck Farts (yes, Duck Farts), discovered the dangers of Jameson + Ginger ale and stayed out way past our curfew.  When in Rome, right?

Friday found us tooling around town to a few spots the locals recommended - La Baleine Cafe for the most amazing breakfast & bottomless coffee; The Alaska Islands & Ocean Visitor Center, Fringe Couture & Consignment Shop; and the Two Sisters Bakery for a late afternoon bite and coffee pick-me-up.  Each local haunt better than the last.

Harbor porpoise articulation + friends and naturalists/counselors

We picked the kids up from the Wynn Nature Center and viewed their harbor porpoise articulation project, as well as heard shared stories of their week at Peterson Field Station on the Kachemak Bay.  It sounds like they learned so much and I felt my mama heart soar when I heard my kid identifying insects, local plant life and marine mammal species.  The one item they felt they needed at the end of all this was a pair of XTRATUF boots and so, well, we indulged them.  They chatted about being the only three kids in California with the coolest boots from Alaska.  I agree, kids, I agree.

We spent the night eating fish at a local eatery and getting filled in on all of the camp stories.  We walked The Spit and ushered them back to our rental, where they showered and fell happily and sleepily into bed.

Views over Kachemak Bay from a floatplane

Steph and the girls rose at an ungodly hour to go salmon fishing, while G and myself slept in and I surprised him with a late-morning float plane ride over Kachemak Bay.

Us in Homer!

We spotted moose, mountain goats, Trumpeter Swans, a sea otter colony and flew over glaciers and the bay where Grady and the girls spent their week at marine mammal camp.  What an incredible feeling to fly over such magnificent lands and seas.  I felt so small in the grand scheme of things.  Alaska has a way of doing that.

5 hours sandwiched between two girls from Homer to Anchorage...he really loved it

My instagram friend, Natalie, lives on Kodiak Island and I couldn't help but think about her this week and envy her remote lifestyle, as well as all of the history and beauty of this 49th state.  Another instagram friend, Maggie, likened Alaska to an ex-boyfriend - one she had to leave, but can't get off of her mind and thoughts wander to what might have been.  I get it.  I totally get it, Maggie.

Alaska, you are a heartbreaker.

Moose
Caribou Skeleton
Grizzly Bear
Beloved round hay bales

This trip gave me the time and space to think about my life and where I want it to go from here.  I'm approaching the eve of my 43rd year and this trip really punctuated my 42nd trip around the sun.

Thanks, Alaska.  I needed you more than I knew.

Alaska :: Days 1 - 4

Big Mama, Bean & Carmen Electra
Tree-trimming, thrifting scores, Ombre monkey & evening sunset from our kitchen

Our days have been full with prepping our home and our suitcases for our big trip to Alaska.  Steve will  be staying home and holding down the fort, as I take G on an adventure to Alaska to hook up with my girlfriend and her two kids (my godchildren).  

We did a big road trip to the Pacific Northwest with this clan two summers ago and it was a big shift in my mothering confidence.  I am looking forward to what this trip even farther north will bring me, us.

It's funny how your everyday life can be full of so many little things that seem inconsequential, like paying bills, cleaning out the refrigerator, organizing your desk and grocery shopping, but they all add up to this wonderfully full feeling for me.  I love making lists, having a plan, but also taking time to read a book, slowing down for lunch and enjoying the sounds of nature surrounding my home.

This week was a tough one.  I had a major blowout with our neighbors regarding our hens.  The girls have been digging up their garden (not okay!), but our neighbors have neglected to put up a proper back garden gate - so we got into it about personal responsibility, boundaries and then a lot of other things flew out of my mouth and all reasonable conversation ceased.  I hung up on him.  I felt angry and overwhelmed.  I put my hens on the Cropmobster site and shared on Facebook and found them a new home in less than 19 minutes, with more than a dozen backup offers.  I felt relieved.  I felt sad.  I felt relieved, again.

Grady's To-do List
The big haircut happened!
The Union Hotel art commission

We need a better run for the hens and we just couldn't accomplish implementing that change this week. I found a lovely home for them and it was a bit sad to say goodbye, but it felt like the best I could do this week, in light of everything else that was going on.

Grady really rose to the occasion this week and completed an art commission, created and mailed August birthday cards and other pending correspondence.  He did his chores, packed his bags for our trip and spent some quality time with his dad kite flying and going out for pizza.

Modern Day Embroidery Workshop sample

Before the Alaska trip was even a thought, I had signed up for a modern day embroidery workshop with the amazing and oh so talented artist, Lisa Solomon, at the Makeshift Society in San Francisco.  Turns out, the workshop was happening the night before I was to wake up at 3:45 am and fly out of San Francisco.  I did not want to miss the class, so I drove down and back with a friend and I'm so glad I did.

Lisa Solomon was a patient, encouraging, there-are-no-rules kind of teacher.  She has an upcoming show in November that I can't wait to attend.  The workshop space was cozy and I walked away with several favorite techniques up my sleeve (hello, french knot & chain stitch!).

Anchorage-bound!

Anchorage, Alaska Day :: 1
We woke early and made the trek to SFO.  Since I used airline miles for this trip, we had to take three planes to Anchorage.  Yes, three.  However, we flew first class for two of those legs and it was awesome.  I may never fly coach again. ;-)

Jewel Lake shenanigans + Welcome to Alaska! cheese board

We landed in the early afternoon and took a taxi to the cute little A-frame home that my friend, Stephanie, was renting.  We grabbed a quick nap and surprised her daughters when they got home.  They didn't know we were coming!

Isabella (11 years old) created a cheese plate for us using her homemade blueberry compote and garnished it with fresh cloves of garlic.  Odd combo, but she assured me that if I ate the raw cloves they would help to keep the mosquitoes away.  I passed on that option, but loved her creativity.

Sophia (9 years old) was our sommelier for the evening.  Don't go calling Child Protective Services on us just yet, as these girls are restaurant girls.  Their parents own River's End in Jenner, a fine dining establishment.  These girls know wine, food, own their own chef knives and work the front (Sophia) and back (Isabella) of the house on most Sundays.

The kids reconnected and ran to Jewel Lake to look for leeches, sang camp songs and joined in a pick-up game of volleyball with the other kids at the park.

Big Lake, Alaska Day :: 2

We woke up early and headed downtown to grab a hearty breakfast breakfast and tour the farmers' market.  Then I dropped Steph and the girls off at Mirror Lake for her company picnic.

The views.  Unreal.
Roadside signage has me laughing & stopping often to snap photos

With the recommendation and help of a friend and former customer of mine (from when I owned the wine bar in Bodega Bay), I took Grady on a small detour to the town of Big Lake.

We arrived at Happy Trails Kennels and the home of Iditarod champion Martin Buser & his family.  His son, Rohn, gave us a brief history of the Iditarod, showed us all of his father's medals, trophies & race memorabilia.  We watched a movie about the race course and then sat in an outside amphitheater on their property and learned more about the dogs.

On our way out, Grady was able to hold one of the little four week old Siberian huskies.  My son has been a dog-loving boy since he was old enough to talk.  He's read books about Balto, watched movies, been a dog for Halloween more often than naught and has been in mourning for his dog Molly for over two years.  Today was a good day.

Client + Beautician
BOOM! hair - trademarked by Sophia Rangel

We dined in tonight, the kids showered and Sophia had her way playing beauty parlor with Grady's hair.  At first he protested, but then gave in and let her work her magic.  Her goal was to give him a little boom!  I think she succeeded.

Anchorage, Alaska :: Day 3

We started the day at the Alaska Native Heritage Center in Anchorage and received quite an education from the local high school interns/docents.

We toured the grounds and ran across a musher and his dogs.  The kids took a spin around the forest and loved the experience.

The art, historical housing and native dancing, as well as the demonstrations of the sports played during the Alaskan winters, were fascinating and quite an education.

After a late lunch, we said goodbye to Stephanie and jumped on Alaska Highway One South towards Homer.  It was about a five hour drive and the kids entertained themselves (and me) for most of the trip.  The fireweed and small towns dotting the highway guided me toward our final destination - Homer.

The kids were getting antsy and we stopped to take a few roadside photos.  After checking into our motel room, we hit the town and found a bite to eat, drove down to the end of the Spit and spotted our first Bald Eagle.

Homer, Alaska :: Day 4
The plan was to drop the kids off at the Center for Alaskan Coastal Studies, where they would take a boat ride over to Peterson Field Station for the week, sleep in a yurt and conduct field studies, dissect a porpoise or salmon, build a marine mammal skeletal system from a real skeleton and other scientific experiments.

We were greeted by very enthusiastic, young marine scientists and learned that there would be seven campers in this camp, three boys & four girls - all between the ages of 10 - 12 years old.

There were no long goodbyes.  We grabbed their gear, threw it in black garbage bags to protect it from the rain and I gave them all a big hug and a kiss.  The kids quickly followed the lead counselor across the highway, towards the Kachemak Bay and from my line of vision.  I just stood there for a minute debating whether or not to follow them and take one last photo or get in the car.  I decided I needed to let them be and slowly walked myself to the car.

I drove to the local post office to mail a few postcards and ended up sitting in the parking lot and placing a call to Steve.  I needed to hear his voice and tell him about the send off.  It felt good to share what was happening and comforting to know there is another person out there in the world that loves my son just as much as I do.

The roadside signage & views were funny & heart-achingly beautiful

As my car snaked through the mountain ranges and followed the lakes and rivers, I ticked off the miles and approached the city of Anchorage.  It was only then that my eyes started to well up with tears and I blame Ira Glass.  Always, Ira Glass.  I was listening to a podcast from This American Life, Episode #109, Notes on Camp.  It was sweet, poignant and timely and I encourage you to listen to it, too.  

I picked Steph up from work and we immediately headed out for margaritas to ease our separation anxiety.  I shared stories of our drive, how the kids made me laugh and their funny sayings and expressions.  This lady understood the bittersweet sadness of sending our little ones off to a week long overnight camp that was a long car ride (and don't forget about the boat ride!) away.

It seems this is the first step towards letting them go.  It felt a little sad, but I think we were also really excited that they had this kind of incredible opportunity.  Our kids would soak it up and be just fine without us, right?  Right.  And they would be back with their own stories to tell.

Until then, I see more margaritas in our future.