Santa Smackdown

Well, Santa Claus is crushing dreams once again out here in Sonoma County.  Every year I hope Santa Claus will be this jovial, loving kind of fella and every year I am more disappointed than the last.  This year was no exception.

As we approached, I thought that maybe he was on a break.  Possible signs of this were his laid back posture in the small folding chair, his fake black boots only half-covering his black tennis-shoes, the loose red velvet toy sack containing broken candy canes laying beside him, his fake beard sliding down his face and a toy catalog clutched in his hand.  The only thing he was missing was an open beer can and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

G showered, put on his special cowboy outfit and grabbed the book he has been writing and illustrating called "My Favorite Things".  He was going to tell Santa exactly what he wanted for Christmas.  Considering the fact that G is on the verge of not believing in Santa, I didn't want this guy to be the dream killer.  When confronted with the lackadaisical Santa, G froze.  He clammed up.  He cautiously approached and kept a safe distance and preserved his own personal space.  From a distance, he slowly opened his book to start letting the Big Guy know what was in his heart and mind for this holiday season (a horse and a baby foal, as well as a cheetah and a baby cub cheetah).  Santa couldn't hear him very well and didn't even let him finish what he was saying!  The so-called Santa shoved a toy catalog in front of G and pointed at some random toy and asked if he wanted that for Christmas.  I mean, c'mon!  Santa should know better.  He knows when you're sleeping, good or bad - but he apparently doesn't understand how this little slice of kid heaven should go down?

Good thing I know what's in Grady's book of favorite things, complete with colored pencil interpretations:

1.  Rabbit pelt (electric blue and dead, not alive);
2.  Rabbit cage & rabbit family (toy - not real);
3.  Legos (plain 'ole Legos);
4.  Three different pairs of slippers (rabbit lined, adorned with wool penguins or wool unicorns); and
5.  The aforementioned toy horses and cheetahs.

Somehow, I think Mrs. Claus will deliver.  She always does.