Free-Range Summer School

Summer always starts out with big plans, goals, lists and we go into it with a kind of maniacal mother-son gusto that probably concerns my husband, but we push ahead anyway.  We like the talk, the planning, the possibility for fun experiences.  And this summer was no exception.  And when I say we, I mostly mean me.  G is always up for a good time and along for the ride, but I'm the Virgo that enjoys making a list and checking things off.

Doran Beach - June 2014

What made the list?  Skate parks, donut shops, libraries and lots of camps.  Throw in three separate family vacations in two and a half months and you have a recipe for meaningful memories peppered with a wee bit of road trip tension to keep it real. We were all in as a family.  Hip hip hooray?  Well, sort of.

Last Days of Summer Vacation @ Sebastopol Skate Park

Our days were packed with art making, reading, travel and lots of DVD rentals.  It was also full of new experiences for Grady and that brought about a shift in our parenting.  Historically, we were the planners and determined how we would spend our time.  This year?  We listened to our kid.

Shortly after school got out, Grady picked up his skateboard and wanted to hit the local skate park, noting that he had wanted to do this for the past two summers and we never took him.  It was time.  My husband took the lead on this and the boost of self-confidence it gave our son was palpable.  The actual skateboarding has come a long way since June and watching him "drop in" for the first time is a sweet memory that I will not soon forget.

A caveat to all of this skateboarding was my son's increased interest in fashion.  Particularly, his insistence on wearing his jeans with the blown out knees.

All.  Summer.  Long.

Cool jeans + XTRATUF's

Shoes and hats, friendship bracelets and pendants on chains around his neck were his flare.  Purple Nikes, Plaid D&C's & kelly green Converse were just a small portion of his tennis shoe fleet.  When donning shorts, socks also became a big part of his outfit.  Shaun White's colorful socks were IT.  Truth be told, this accessory-loving mom was all for this.  He was finding his style and feeling really good about himself.

Foot Fashion

The young men at the skate park were really kind to my son.  Sure, a lot of them cursed like sailors, but they always seemed to be nice and willing to share their space with a kid who knew absolutely nothing when he showed up on the first day of summer.  

The kindness of strangers always delights me.  As I sat on the bench at the skate park reading, sketching or checking my phone, I could hear these young men (ages 5 to 25) talking with G about form, technique or just letting him know it was okay to use the space they were all sharing.  The younger ones just wanting to chat about skate stickers or my son's hair.  It was all very sweet and it felt like a transition was happening right before my eyes AND, for once, I was really aware of it!  I grew to love the skate park and what it was offering my kid.

Library Junkie(s)

The remainder of summer was spent doing a lot of reading and making art.  Lots and lots of drawing and library visits.  I'm kind of a library addict and it feels like I get a hit every time I walk through those sliding doors.  Oh, the possibilities!  We would divide and conquer our local branch library and then treat ourselves to frozen yogurt at the shop next door.  Win-win, right?  Right.

And so, here it is.  The end of summer vacation.

Portland.  Bodega Bay.  Alaska.  I'll write about Alaska in a separate post.  It needs it's own place to shine because it was that awesome.

The end of free time.

The end of endless choices.

The end of late bedtimes.

The end of cereal for breakfast at 10 am.

We strengthened the bonds of our little family and soaked up the foggy summer nights.  We hit farmers' markets and enjoyed our new Sunday ritual of coffee & the New York Times.

Every single pair of rain boots G has ever had
All of them found new homes (except for his first pair)

And as I purge my son's room and try to create order in the chaos before the new school year commences, I'm quickly reminded of all the life he's led up until this very point.  The baseball uniforms, the basketball trophies, the rain boots…they all serve to remind me of the string of days that have been carefully stacked upon one another and given me to this strong, capable young man.

Summer seems to be a different time for learning.  And while there haven't been math books or spelling tests, there has indeed been lots of learning going on.

We have attended a sort of free-range summer school.  The kind of school that allowed us to create and make our own curriculum.  We wrote & lived many stories, painted our days with beautiful hobbies, enjoyed the peace & quiet of our home(room), as well as setting off on a few adventures during recess.

Each one of us taught the other a little something new.  I learned to sit back and watch my son fall - only to witness him getting back up and jumping on his board to try, try again.  My husband finally found the sport that would bring him closer to our son.

It felt like skateboarding was a metaphor for parenting.  Sure, we put on all of the protective gear we can by reading books on parenting and joining parent support groups.  But it seems like the only way I've really learned anything at all about parenting is by "dropping in" and making my way to the other side.  We might fall a bit in the beginning, but when we finally pop out of the bowl we will have learned something about our kid and most definitely about ourselves.

Heck, we may even high-five someone or give a chin-nod and cooly walk off the scene knowing that we just totally shredded that situation really hard.

The extra credit?  Well, that came in the form of a kid that believes in himself and realizes that it's okay if he gets a little bruised and banged up.  In fact, the failures were part of the fun.  He's more confident and self-assured after our summer together.

I give us an A for effort.