Let. It. Go.

Doran Beach on New Year's Day

It's a fresh start.
A clean slate.
A chance to reinvent myself, my home, my habits.

It's also a process.
Not an event.
(Remember this, Tammi!)

The beauty of Valley Ford

The new year symbolizes renewal to me, but also rest.  Our household was hit hard with illness at the end of the year and it has taken us through the first 10 days of this new year.  It's actually been a really, really good thing.  Besides the fact that it's no fun having a severe cold, it's given me the chance to take care of myself with plenty of bed rest, no alcohol, plenty of fluids and a lot of time for reflection and brainstorming.

I usually pick a word for the year and let that be a gentle reminder of my intentions.  Last year, the word was moderation.  The year before that it was balance.  The year before that, Be Present.  I had a hard time picking a word this year and changed it a few times.  I finally landed on a small phrase - Let. It. Go.

Yes, those three little words would guide me and I wasted no time in working on my intention to Let. It. Go. around my house.  Since I was already housebound by illness, I used my energy spurts in between naps to start cleaning and clearing clutter from the laundry room, my desk and the hutch in my living room.  I have been editing my cookbook collection and dusting the top of the dryer.  I'm culling my magazines and returning random items to their rightful places throughout our home.  Many, many lists are being made and lots of comfort cooking has been happening in my cozy kitchen.

I do this every year and every year I absolutely love it.  It's like something has been caged up inside me and the first 10 days of January are like an exorcism.  Not of the Linda Blair variety, but I do get a little high from the constant purging and organizing.  It's a Virgo's dream come true.

Freshly organized kitchen shelves & freshly baked coffee cake

I couldn't even bring myself to write in this space until I had made a significant dent in my purging project.  In reality, I've only scratched the surface, but it feels so good to nest, stack, clear, donate and think about how to restore order to our home.

G checking in on dear 'ole mom
An amazing cotton candy set view through my bedroom window
Early morning creative fuel

I'm also writing this post without images, which is new for me (they are there now, but not when I drafted this post).  Usually, the images guide my writing - but I'm going to try and work on my writing this year and add random images afterwards from our week.  I will post captions underneath the photos to remind me who is in the photo or why I took it.  I'm hoping this helps me expand my writing and that I will grow from it, instead of the images quietly dictating what I write.  Let. It. Go.   I'm listening.

These quiet January days have helped me finish a few aspects of some volunteer projects I've been working on and once they are complete, I'm ready to Let. It. Go.  Not forever, but I think I'm ready for some type of change with my community service work.  I'm not sure where or what that will be, but I've kind of hit a wall with my work at G's school and our local non-profit fundraiser, Fisherman's Festival.  I'll finish my obligations this year, but I'm ready to give a polite notice that this is the last year for my heavy involvement in those projects.

Field trip to Charles Schulz Museum before my illness took hold.  He's totally in his element there.

My little man turns 10 this year and it feels big.  He feels big.  I am definitely throwing him a 10th birthday party and letting him live it up.  He deserves it and I want to honor what an awesome little human being he is and commemorate this decade he has graced our lives.  I love being a mom and I never thought I would say that.  Motherhood has opened me up and taught me so much over these past 10 years (and I'm still learning).  I want to dig in and really relish this next chapter of his life and my place in it.  He's the only kid we've got.  How very lucky we are.

We booked tickets to fly to Spring training in Arizona.  My mom is beyond thrilled and the guys have plans to see the Dodgers training facility and catch a few games at the Kansas City stadium near my mom's house in Surprise, Arizona.  The guys will be watching baseball and I'll get a little thrifting in with my mom during our March trip.  Win-win.

Bringing a little outside in.
Mid-century score for G's bedroom $10!

Grady's resolutions were sweet this year.  He wants to read all the classics (how cute is that?), go to Australia, go see my mom in Arizona, see the LA Dodgers play the SF Giants, ride his bicycle in the Piccolo (28.78 miles course in Sonoma County) with Steve in October and quit chewing his nails.  Awesome goals for an equally awesome kid.

We quietly celebrated Steve's 49th year on earth with sweet birthday coupons + cherry pie

I'm also ready to Let. It. Go. with some emotional baggage that I've been carrying around about a few members of my community, my father, my marriage, my internal voice that drags me down from time to time.  I'm ready.  I just need to pause, take it in and Let. It. Go.  I can do this.  I absolutely can.

It feels good to put these words out there.
It cements my intentions.
2013 looks promising.
I will Let. It. Go.