My Middle School Concussion

Middle school is giving me a headache.

I'm writing this in jest, sort of, but I kind of feel like I was hit in the face with a bat and I'm slowly coming out of my middle school concussion and trying to shake it off.

I would also add that I was wholly unprepared for how these past six weeks were going to go down.

After researching middle schools last Spring, we decided to move Grady from the small town school he has attended for the past six years into a much larger charter school in town - about 10 miles away from home.  We knew it would be more rigorous academically and that appealed to us, plus with more students on campus we figured our son would be thrown into more social situations and have considerably more opportunities to try new things via his elective choices.  All in all, it looked like a good fit.  We also felt like we wanted him to be exposed to new friendships, new teachers, new ideas and have new experiences in a safe setting, like middle school, before he entered the big bad world of high school.

To that end, we jumped into summer with the mantra of try new things!  We traveled to Portland and Grady attended a marine mammal camp in Homer, Alaska.  He kept a creative writing journal and skateboarding became his summer thing.  My mother sent a box of cool new school clothes and we bought the requisite back-to-school supplies, so I thought yeah, I think we're ready to start school.

Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

I mean, I was absolutely expecting that he wouldn't want to pose for a first day of sixth grade photo in front of his new school.  Sure, that would be embarrassing and I could surely give him a little leeway on that.

However, much to this mother's delight, he happily posed here at home and he felt pretty good about himself on the his first day of sixth grade, at a brand spanking new school, nonetheless.

What I was not expecting was the following:

1.  Girls.  I know.  I should have, but I didn't.

2.  The fact that my son would want to wear skinny jeans and a heavy knock-off letterman's jacket every. single. day.  Even in 80+ degree temperatures.

3.  The sports schedules would make our family out to be a bunch of late afternoon gypsies, shuttling from one sport to the next and all the while trying to figure out how and when we would make dinner on a nightly basis.

His first locker

4.  Girls trying to friend me up on social media as a way to see pictures of my son.  Hmm.

5.  The homework schedule.  When in the world would homework happen?

6.  The trumpet.  Didn't see that one coming.

7.  A boy-girl school dance wherein my son would rip the crotch out of the front of his pants from channeling Napoleon Dynamite and doing - the splits!

8.  Grady's sock penchant has been renewed and it's all colorful, knee-high length socks for this boy.  Turquoise, red, black - all the time.  It's a look I wasn't prepared for, but I'm slowly embracing.

9.  My son asking for my help in proofreading a breakup email he was drafting.  What the…?

10.  Flag football.  I had not one clue that my son would be interested in this activity.  None.

11.  And did I mention the girls?  The cheering.  The texting.  The squealing?  Oh, I remember being eleven years old.

Holy shit.

Karma.

The sports are coming to an end in the next week and I kind of love hearing him play the trumpet.  The first dance was a rite of passage and he has a great (albeit embarrassing) story to accompany that experience.

And the girls.  Well, I think they are here to stay.

So all the while when I thought I was preparing my only child to go to middle school, little did I know I should have been preparing myself for his middle school experience.

Mamas of little ones?  Here's what I want to say to you:

G @ four years old circa 2007
Cowboy hat, favorite polka-dot ribbon serving as a "dog harness" and his first pumpkin carving contest

Enjoy the first days of elementary school and the fact that your child dressed himself in some crazy get-up, or you picked out the adorable matching outfit.  Those days are numbered, my friend.  I write this as a cautionary tale and as a friendly warning.  Soak up the cuteness.  Take a picture.  Walk them to class as often as you can - even if you're in your pajamas/yoga pants.  Write down funny little things they say.  Savor it.  It's so freaking special.

Go to as many school plays and musicals as your schedule allows.  Cherish the handmade art they bring home every week.  Go to the dreaded PTA meetings and volunteer your time as much as you can, because your child will not want you to do this when they hit middle school.  Trust me.  I know you can't believe this right now, but it's true.  I didn't want to believe it either.

The bake sale?  The field trips?  The class parties?   Yes, go.  Buy store bought goods and throw them on the table.  Just go.  Your child wants you there.

You're so lucky.

::

I'm coming to understand the ins-and-outs of middle school and my son is settling in just fine.  I'm always a little slower on the uptake.  And while I reached out to his homeroom teacher to see how I could assist in class, she gently reminded me that typically, middle school is when parent presence inside the classroom diminishes.

Ouch.

And, yes, of course.  It's the time where I should start to let him have more freedom and loosen the parental grip I've had for the past decade.  I get that.  Really, I do.

You know how it's a good thing that you have nine months to process that you're pregnant and bringing a life into the world?  Well, I think it's a good thing middle school is three years in length because I'm going to need that long to navigate this new territory of tween-dom, emotions, friendships and, yes, girls.

And to that end, I think I have to step away from writing about my son for a bit.  It seems like the right time to give him some privacy and space.  I'm embarrassed to say that over the years writing here in this space, I have shared openly without much thought to his right to privacy.  Sure, I ask him if he's okay if I post a photo - but, now I'm not so sure about all of this and feel like I need to look deeper and examine this issue.

I need more time to figure it out.

It's a new world over here in our household and, honestly, I look forward to the coming changes and new adventures.  I'm just going to need to commiserate every now and again with friends and relish in this time of rapid growth and change - for all of us.

And, this mild middle school concussion is sure to go away, right?

I'll just need to stock up on the Advil.  Stat.