my life in metaphors, lately

My Mom & Dad circa 1969

{This series was inspired by my son's sixth grade english assignment

 of writing for six minutes, without edits or overthinking it.  

I'll be posting daily quick writes for the month of March.}

I'm constantly thinking in metaphors ever since I stopped drinking.  As I prepared for my girls'  weekend, I found myself in my head quite a bit.  Normally, I would be packing my personal nine-bottle wine tote and filling it with special wines or the fixings for special martinis.

Instead, I packed up a box of assorted tea bags.

The weight of this intention was both heavy and light.

+++++

For the past 17 years, I've been wearing earrings that my mother gifted me when I was 27 years old and freshly divorced from my own first husband.  At the time, I appreciated the symbolism and sentiment.  They were made from two small diamonds that were once part of her wedding ring, from her first marriage to my father.

I've worn them every day since she gave them to me for Christmas back in 1997.  I took them off a few weeks ago and carefully set them in my jewelry box.  I said a little prayer for them and hoped the bad juju that I think they hold will wear off and be absorbed by the green felt lining of that little drawer.

The symbolism of this gesture was heavy on my heart, but I've felt about 10 pounds lighter ever since I shut that little drawer.

+++++

Waking up clear headed, instead of foggy and slow is new and, happily, preferred.  When the fog is rolling in over the hillsides, I'm reminded of how I used to feel.  Blanketed by regret or loss.  My heart cloaked in a thick sadness that is hard to share with anyone.

The beautiful revelation about fog is that it sweeps over the landscape only for a little while and then slowly lifts and retreats.  The world them seems open to me and I can feel the sunshine on my face.

The grey fog and the warm sunshine work together, in tandem, to help center me and start a new day.

The soupy fog symbolized my heavy feelings, but when it lifts I feel the weight of my burdens and thoughts rise up and leave me.  When they settle back down inside of me, they will be lighter after their journey.