Full Of It

:: My new art portfolio gifted from a dear friend
:: Sylvia Plath knows what she's talking about

Life has been full lately.  Like, really full.  Like, bursting at the seams full.  Overflowing kind of full. You get the drift.

My husband likes to remind me that it's always full.  And, I guess when I stop to think about it, well, it is.  But the busyness of the beginning of the school year just about did me in and I'd like to pop into this little blog space of mine and jot down a few words to punctuate the end of…well, the beginning.

To commemorate the lighter, more care-free after-school calendar, I'd like to write a post dedicated to the creative & beautiful tidbits of daily life that have permeated my world lately and kept me sane for the past six, socially stretched thin weeks we've just had.  Here's what's been going on in my world.

I discovered the most talented Australian artist, Nicole Law, on Instagram (IG handle :: nicolelaw.au).  Her work is gorgeous and it inspired many hours of line drawing in my daily art journal (above left).

I'm in the final throes of library tote bag research and pulled the trigger on a blank canvas bag & sent it off to the screen printer for a small first-run production with my original artwork.  Hoping to have these back by the end of the month and in my new etsy shop by November 1st.  Crossing my fingers it all works out.

My new domain name has been registered and I figured out how to redirect my old blog address to the new one.  This was a major feat for this technologically challenged gal, but I did it without any help, thank you very much.

My library addiction was fed a lot this month and I'm really enjoying revisiting Jenny Rosentrach's Dinner :: A Love Story & her new follow-up to that book Dinner: The Playbook.  Really great, easy to execute family dinner plans for weeknight meals.

I'm also slowly digesting artist Lisa Congon's new book Art, Inc.  Is there nothing this woman can't do?  She is such a huge inspiration to me.  She's self-taught and didn't pick up a paint brush until she was 34.  She is prolific and one-of-a-kind and she inspires me daily with her words, images and blog.

I was gifted the out-of-print book of poetry by Gary Young entitled Pleasure.  I've checked this out from the library a handful of times and that's always my indicator that I must add it to my small home library.  The author is also a printmaker and lives in Northern California.  Since it was out of print, my dear book-loving friend contacted Heyday Books (the publisher) and they sent her a copy - that she, in turn, gifted to me.  I absolutely recommend this book and appreciate his prose-style poems on family life, nature and the relationship between those two worlds.  Here's one of my favorites:

The swallows hide their children in the dark, in frail mud cups beneath the roof.  They fly from the house and come back.  They make loops in the treacherous air, then return.  They live here, too, and they're not afraid.

His poems are without titles.  Here's another that is seemingly simple, but conjures up lovely sensory inducing images:

We bought halibut fresh from the boat, and poached the firm white flesh with onions, fennel root and wine.  We mashed potatoes, nibbled jicama, and Killarney laughed because the meal was white.  She's written a book about her mother, and that night I decided to illustrate the book with clouds.

And one more, because I can't say enough about this little book:

It's a joy to be subtracted from the world.  Holding my son's naked body against my own, all I feel is what he is.  I cannot feel my own skin.  I cannot feel myself touching him, but I can recognize his hair, the heft of his body, his warmth, his weight.  I cannot measure my own being, my subtle boundaries, but I know my son's arms, the drape of his legs, smooth and warm in a shape I can measure.  I have become such a fine thing, the resting-place for a body I can know.

And while I don't read poetry every day, I do have a small stack of my favorite poetry books that rest on a side table in the living room.  When I have a few minutes in between tasks, I like to sit down and open one of them and see what I find.  Usually, it's just the right thing to make me ponder this life I'm living.  This short respite seems to bring my day into sharp focus.  I love how a few words can do this.

I look forward to the delivery of the Sunday New York Times every single weekend.  I try to leave the day WIDE open so that I can sip my coffee, have a leisurely breakfast and read the paper from cover-to-cover for the entire day.  It is the most decadent and inspiring chunk of time during my week.  The graphics are to die for and are the well-written articles are a wealth of inspiration.  It has something for everyone in our family and I'm turning into one of those ladies that clips articles and pulls out sections for my two fellas + friends.  Yes, I'm that lady now.  Consider yourself warned.

We've had a bit of a heatwave over the last 10 days, but the fog has returned in the early mornings and late afternoons.  The fog created a need in me to mix up grey watercolors and try to paint this scene (above, right) from Doran Beach in my art journal.  I have a long way to go in this department.  As always, I am a work in progress when it comes to watercolors.

October's Babylon Book Club selection was All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.  What a beautifully written book.  Themes of friendship, life, death, the beauty of the natural world, hope, and bravery run throughout its pages.  A must read.

A gangly flock of turkeys has been traipsing across our property for over a month now; eating fallen apples, dropping feathers, clucking & calling with all their might early in the morning and as the sun dips down to say goodnight in our back pasture.  They are both annoying & adorable all at the same time.  They're leaving feathers as some sort of peace offering.  I happily accept these feathers.

I've been taking a creative process in watercolor workshop with the super talented artist, Jean Warren.  She's been working in watercolor for over 30 years and is such a talent.  She makes it all look so easy (when it's absolutely not!).

I'm the newbie in class and was quite intimidated to paint next to my fellow, more accomplished  students.  I'm realizing through these classes that I have a hard time being a student.  I really don't like to be told what to do.  Isn't that funny?  That I pay for classes and attend them - and then quietly push back and try to find a way to do it my way?  Not funny ha-ha, but funny-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-Tammi kind of funny.

I outed myself this week with my classmates and finally let go of my way (which, incidentally is no real way at all).  I began to listen and apply what was being taught to the blank piece of paper in front of me.  It was a small revelation, but really made me look at how I resist change, new ideas coming from others & concrete advice.  I guess I like to fumble my way through things until I figure them out, but as I'm getting older I'm also realizing that if I'd just listen up and give it a try, I might save myself some valuable time.  And, let's face it, time is meaning so much more to me now that I'm getting older.  I don't want to keep fighting unnecessary battles.  It's just silly.  I'm finally realizing that and ready to move on and accept the help of others.

We celebrated our wedding anniversary this week and I gifted a piece of original art to Steve to mark this occasion.  Again, inspired by this artist, I utilized my drawer full of hand-carved stamps and created a wonky little homage to our 13 years by printing 13 wonky circles on kraft-colored card stock with red screen printer's ink.  It took several takes to get it just right, but I absolutely love it.

September was filled with milestone birthday celebrations, first school dances, dinner parties, soccer & flag football games.  It was also filled with big batches of waffles, school lunches, Manhattans, lots of sparkling wine & homemade ice cream sandwiches.

Steve & Grady make the best waffles I've ever had.  At my request, they kindly double the batch and store the cooled waffles in clean, used plastic bread bags, stacking the waffles one on top of the other - so that they lay flat.  During the school week, Grady just pops two in the toaster to reheat and voila! - breakfast of champions.  I've never made a waffle in the 15 years we've been together and I quite like that fact.  We received our first waffle iron as a wedding present and it died late last year from old age and constant use.  Our new All-Clad belgian waffle maker should last us until Grady is out of college.   I love that this is totally Steve's domain and that he is training his son to take over this culinary task for our family.

I thoroughly enjoy listening to the father & son morning banter and witnessing the two of them  cooking together.  Plus, it really helps out with our weekday morning routine by having these in my back-pocket (I mean, freezer).  Recipe can be found here.

Of Bristle and Bone, oil on panel, 60 x 48 inches, 2014

We had the pleasure of attending our dear friend's art show Between Head and Hand at the Dolby Chadwick Gallery in San Francisco last month and it was amazing.  Kai Samuels-Davis is such a talent and we were so proud to take in the show and see our friend's body of recent work up on the walls in this beautiful space.  Click through to his website to see more of his work.

Books & periodicals litter almost every available flat surface in our home right now.  When I'm not busy trying to cram in a little more reading, I'm playing catch up with my downloaded podcasts.  I'm absolutely transfixed by Ira Glass's new podcast Serial.  Have you listened to it yet?  Go download it.  Seriously, right now.  It's my new favorite thing.

Happy October, everyone.

Blog Anniversary :: 7 years

I've been coming to this space to jot down the tidbits of my daily life, the beauty of my surroundings, my family for years.  Yesterday was my seven year blog anniversary.  I wonder what the present is for this kind of anniversary?  Probably some kind of mid-century furniture, right?  Or, a cute pair of shoes?  No worries, I'll figure it out.

My interests have been shared here.  They have morphed and changed throughout the years.

Here are a few that mean the most to me:

:: My love of books and the written word.

:: The pastoral and small town we live in.

:: My homestead experiments (ahem).

:: My daily adventures with this one.

:: Our little funky farmhouse.

:: Daily art-making at the kitchen table.

:: Entertaining friends and family here.

:: My guys.

Scrolling through older blog posts yesterday, I came across this post with a video of Grady playing the guitar and singing about his favorite thing at the time :: Dogs.  Labrador retrievers, in particular.  It made me laugh and then it made me cry.  He was only four years old at the time.

If I'm being honest, it has been a challenge to write the day-to-day story of my life.  It's often I capture and record only the good stuff, as that helps buoy me out of a rough patch.  But there are plenty of not-so-pretty moments happening around here, too.  This blog helps me out of those dark holes and catapults me into the next moment where I can either gracefully slip into the groove or walk in all uncoordinated and clumsy.  Either way, it always get better.  And that is what I've gleaned from all of the years of writing and sharing my thoughts here.  It's why I will continue to do so, even if it's only sporadically that the mood and energy strikes.

I used to struggle with photography and technology here in this space.  There are so many small, off-centered, fuzzy pictures in the early years of this blog.  I thought about deleting them, but decided I couldn't.  They document my wobbly past, too.  I used to get up late at night (between 2 am and 6 am) to edit photos and upload images to my blog.  Living in the country is charming, but our internet bandwidth is minuscule.  We had wide open privileges in the middle of the night and I would wake up wanting to write and work on images for this space.

I'm grateful that I have taken the time over the past seven years to photograph my home, nature, things that inspire me, people I love.  In doing so, I'm always trying to find the beauty in every day.  Sometimes I fail, but mostly this little blog has helped me navigate my way through motherhood and being a wife, daughter, sister and friend.  It catalogs all of the different times I've tried something new and helps me feel like I can hold onto the past a little while longer.

The connections I've made along the way have been the added little bonus.  I've made real friendships with women from all across the country - most I've never met.  It might sound weird to some, but connecting with like-minded women through social media has been the biggest surprise to me at this stage in my life.  The sharing of information and positive encouragement has lifted me up out of more than a few dark times.

For the past five+ years I've started every single day checking in with the beautiful blogs of Amanda, Nici, Kelle & Gabrielle.  I read their blogs religiously.  They've all given me inspiration in one form or another - motherhood know-how, a little touch of the rural life & DIY endeavors that I like to  dabble in.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart, ladies.

List-making and documenting make me feel more in control.  As a mom to an only child, I'm constantly trying to grasp for a way to record Grady's childhood.  Realistically, I know I can't really do that for all things, but I need to try to capture a little bit of it.  For me.  For him.

I'm currently struggling with the fact that I'm unsure if I should continue write about him in this space.  He's just entered middle school and the rules have suddenly changed.  Is this my story to tell?  Or is it his?  More on that in another post.

As always, I'm figuring it out along the way.

I haven't felt like writing lately, but I wanted to at least mark this occasion by acknowledging the power of putting my thoughts and images here in this little space of mine.  Thank you for reading and following along in this journey.

I guess my blog anniversary present was a new web address.  Find me here:

www.tammisalas.com

Happy, happy.

weekending :: mother's day

Artwork circa 1976

Mother's Day always feels a little loaded to me.  I know I have a lot of quiet expectations for the day and sometimes I wrestle with those feelings.

My husband's mom died when he was six years old.  He didn't get the chance to go to her funeral.  Shortly thereafter, he had a very stoic, unaffectionate step-mother that raised him for all of those in between years until he went to college (and then his parents divorced).  I always kind of expect him to show Grady how to celebrate me on Mother's Day and you know what?  He doesn't really have those tools in his tool box.

Don't get me wrong, he does the best he knows how to do - but not having a mom who dotes on you or showers you with love and affection can really tweak the way you love people.

Grady growing like a weed among our weeds

With the help and inspiration of Mamalode, I decided to throw a little Mother's Day Eve party with a handful of my friends who are also mothers.  If you're reading this and you know me, well, you know I love the eve of just about anything - birthdays, xmas, Thanksgiving, Arbor Day.   It was completely low key.  Everyone brought appetizers and a bottle of wine.  Husbands dropped their wives off and picked them up when it was all said and done.

We sipped on a lot of sparkling wine, told funny stories, talked about schools, cursed a fair amount and laughed really hard.  I don't get to see these moms very often, but it felt so good to come together and share our journey of motherhood.  I'm absolutely going to do this again next year.

My husband and son usually cook and clean up on mother's day.  This year was no exception.  I woke up early and grabbed my pillow, blanket and book and sat outside watching the sunrise until both of my guys woke up.

My silly models posed for me while I figured out my Polaroid Land Camera settings
Steve's hair is epic in these photos

Steve taught Grady how to make me coffee and fixed breakfast while I doodled and painted at the kitchen table in my art journal.

Grady retreated to his art studio for most of the day, surfacing only to make himself a PB&J and to grab more books and supplies from his bedroom.

My husband decided to give me the best present.  Wait for it . . . we purged several of our kitchen cabinets and loaded up my car with donations for the thrift store.  I know, I know - romantic, right?  He also cleaned up his office and tidied up the garage.  Usually, he's working for most of the day on Mother's Day, but today he was available and present and that was the best gift.  All of us together working on the house and/or our projects.

Blurry Polaroid Landcamera photo using black/white film
Mother's Day 2014

I also realized that asking for what I want on Mother's Day is okay.  Often times I just suppress it and hope my guys read my mind.  This year, I asked for the house to myself the evening before Mother's Day to celebrate with my friends.  I asked Grady to make me a card.  I asked for us to do a project together (and we did).  So, even though my husband's emotional Mother's Day toolbox was rusty, he totally came through and showed my son how to quietly celebrate me.

And nothing makes a Virgo mom happier than a reorganized kitchen and a homemade card.

Nothing.

50 is the new 40 :: Happy Birthday, Steve!

Steve's 50th birthday was discussed at length this year.  Usually, he's not one for making a fuss about himself but this year was different.  We needed to do something to mark this milestone and we discussed so many options that it finally overwhelmed me and I decided to surprise him with a trip to Costa Rica in March and a plan to skip the parties.  I knew he'd be okay with that.

As the days were leading up to his birthday, I became really sick and bedridden.  My mind was racing and all of a sudden I wanted to do something else to mark the day of his birth.

Luckily, we have very sweet friends who own Rocker Oysterfeller's Kitchen + Saloon and wanted to treat my husband to a special meal and libations on Tomales Bay on his actual birthday.  I rallied and drove my husband down to his surprise birthday luncheon at the Tomales Bay Oyster Company.

Our friends are expert caterers and thought of everything.  Bubbly, specialty tequila, oysters, chili and flank steak tacos.  We laughed, sipped and spent the best four hours on the bay catching up and watching our friend, the chef, work his magic and create his art.  The food and company were  fabulous.

Thanks, Shona + Brandon.  You guys are the best.  Thank you for celebrating my husband and being such amazing friends.  We're lucky to have you in our lives.

We had one more celebration the very next night with a quiet dinner party for eight at River's End.  Again, our friends own this magical place and the wines and meal were over the top spectacular.  Bert even bought a cake and busted out a 1979 Fonseca Ruby Port to punctuate the end of the evening.

In addition to the Costa Rica trip, I wanted to purchase a piece of art for Steve that marked this special birthday.  I ended up purchasing original drawing from our friend and artist, Hannah Day.  It's an ink drawing on recycled paper of a red ladder leaning up against a leafless tree and a dozen or so little tiny ribbons on the branches blowing in the breeze.  I think it's just beautiful and told Steve the ribbons symbolize many of his life-to-date accomplishments, with many more ribbons to come!

I hear 50 is the new 40 and you've never looked better, Hecht.

Happy, happy birthday, my love.

Xmas Road Trip :: Southern California

The days leading up to our road trip to Southern California were filled with lots of busyness and finalizing little handmade projects, packing suitcases and doing all the things you do before you leave home for a stretch of days.

Cornflake wreath gifted to us every year by a dear friend

We were surprisingly calm in the wake of our little adventure and I attribute this to how intent we all were on enjoying the journey.  It wasn't all about presents or staying home this year.  We were breaking tradition and hoped that we would be better for it.

Xmas shopping relief in Bodega Bay

I hit a patch of stress during the week leading up to our departure, but quickly spun out of it.  What I realized is that I have such power over how I react to situations and I rarely serve myself or my family when I sit in that place for too long.

We hiked around the back of our property the night before we left and visited the llamas, hunted for feathers and watched the sun dip down over the hillside.

Our little family was so ready and it felt so good, satisfying even, to turn off the heat, lock the doors and hit the road.

I gifted Grady a few books for the long journey and he quickly dove into reading Riordan's The Son of Neptune and listening over and over again to Lorde's inaugural album on his iPod.

We approached our destination in the early afternoon and marveled at the barren landscape and gigantic, hardworking windmills that dotted the dry, scruffy desert floor.  Palm Desert was in our sights.

We quickly settled in with Steve's lifelong friend and his girlfriend + nine month old baby boy.  They are in the United States for six months, visiting from Paris, and they were nice enough to let us stay with them at their cousin's vacation home for four days.

We enjoyed slow mornings, lots of coffee, unlimited cribbage matches, a trip to the day spa and watching the Sound of Music with Grady.

Photo courtesy of David Silpa

We spotted our first roadrunner, swam in the community pool and hit the local area thrift shops.  I even spent an evening with an old high school friend and his family, who lived just eight miles away from where we were staying.  Steve and his friend went to a local casino (and won!) and we even toured Cathedral City looking at xmas lights.

Grady was smitten with this little french bebe and got a little sad as we readied to leave our friends.  He loves him so much (and so do we!) and thinks they are like cousins.  Well, they kind of are.

We said our goodbyes and made promises of getting together again in the very near future.  We hopped in the car on Xmas even and pointed it towards Oceanside, where Steve's dad lives.

The Dinosaurs of Cabazon

The weather has been incredible so far and we drove with the sunroof open and enjoyed the sunshine.  It was such a welcome change from the cold, stormy xmases that we typically spend on the Sonoma Coast.

We lugged our bags inside and enjoyed a few days of xmas cheer with Steve's dad, grandmother and the errant family members who popped by for a quick hug and a glass of bubbly.

I discovered that the xmas spirit has skipped a generation in Steve's family.  His dad's home was tastefully decorated with vintage xmas ornaments from his mother and grandmother, a train track was set up around the tree and his grandmother's xmas china set out on the table just waiting for xmas dinner.  It's come to my attention that perhaps my husband's disdain for xmas decor was a genetic defect because everyone else in his family is into it.  Grandma Lavinia showed up wearing a xmas vest, Aunt Bev popped by wearing jingle bell earrings, a Santa hat and Santa shorts.  Who knew they made those?  I took it all in and appreciated my in-laws in a new, heartfelt way.

It was a technology xmas for the Hecht household.  After the crushing disappointment last year for the boy over an iPod Touch, my husband convinced me that it was time for Grady to experiment with a little technology and so an iPad mini was the only gift Santa brought this year.  When Grady opened his Santa Sack he looked a little stunned and then happy, really happy.

Steve drew a Willow Tree for Grady using the Brushes application & printed

I have my reasons for holding him back in this area, but Steve also had valid reasons for wanting him to be set free to learn and explore on the iPad.  I will write more about this later, but I chose to embrace it and let my son (and father) bask in all of the technological glory that was in their hands.

Grady carved and painted me the annual garden marker to add to my collection.  This one is a black phoebe and just needs the right sized stick when we get home.  This is a bird that visits just outside our kitchen window in the morning and I can never remember its name.  I will now.

The day after xmas was almost 80 degrees and so we took a drive to the Oceanside Pier and strolled down the boardwalk.

Grady scored some sweet sunglasses at a little vintage thrift store and posed with this suspicious looking brown pelican.

Mom scored some fun glasses, too.

Three generations of Hecht men.  They are from solid, honest, hardworking stock and I love them dearly.

The next leg of our journey took us to Anaheim Hills to stay with my bestie and her family.  We quickly fell into easy conversation, opened a bottle of bubbly and caught up on all of life's happenings.

Her oldest is leaving for Spain in January and we were happy to see her face and meet the boyfriend that she will be traveling with for the next year.

This is the worst picture, but I wanted to capture our little guys (and big) with the limo driver we had.  Scott arranged for a driver to take us to sushi and they took us home in a limo for the boys.  Grady thought it was the coolest thing ever!

We had a great time with our friends and packed it up for home Sunday morning.  It's hard to say goodbye, but we were ready to get back to our little home on the hill in Valley Ford.